Friday, February 27, 2009

Ode from a soapbox

I'm looking forward to the day when I can use my kids as an excuse to leave an event early. As it is now, it's lame to say I want to leave a basketball game (for example) just because I don't want to sit there anymore, but it's trendy to get to leave because the kids are tired and need to go to sleep.

What is this intro about? Will I get to use these excuses soon? No. I am not pregnant. And if I were, you would not find out about it via a blog post or a facebook status, so help me. Call me old fashioned, but I think there is an etiquette to sharing news like this, and it's more personal than broadcasting it for just anyone to see.

That's also not what this post is really about. But I'm getting to the point. Just had to get out the ole soapbox for a bit (not that it's all dusty and forgotten on the shelf or anything).

Here is something that I won't do when we have kids. And I hope this isn't one of those vows like, "When I have kids, I would not parent them like this or that," and then when you do have kids everything changes and you parent them in just the way you said you never would, because you really knew nothing before when you were childless and thought you knew everything about parenting. This, I hope is not one of those things. And here it is:
I will never worry about leaving the kids with Steve for the evening, or a weekend or whatever. Say I need to go away to some women's retreat. I won't worry that the laundry won't get done, or that no one will get a good meal. I won't have to premake things lest everyone eat cereal and sandwiches the whole time. I will be able to go to a Bible study and not have to leave after only an hour because Steve has been home with the kids by himself for too long.

Do you see now why I had to have the first paragraph? Excuses that I look forward to when having kids. I wanted to introduce that idea before I got into the excuses I think are lame that revolve around kids. And really, it's an ode to my husband.

He is perfectly capable of taking care of himself and others. I think it would be an insult to him to say that I am perfectly capable of taking care of a family and a household day in and day out, but heaven forbid he needs to do it for an hour or a day.

Before we were married, we had took an engaged-couples class and pre-marriage counseling and all that (should be required for all people who value the sanctity of marriage). One of the things I was concerned about was the fact that Steve and I both were so good at being single. We could take care of ourselves. Would that hinder us from taking care of each other, I wondered? Would we be too independant and not rely on each other? We were encouraged that it is actually a good thing. How can you take care of someone else if you can't even take care of yourself? And what a blessing it is to be cared for!

One thing I love is to cook together. Steve is a great cook. I am great at cooking some things. We often work together when making a meal. We both do dishes. We both do laundry. He mainly takes out the garbage. I mainly clean the bathroom. He is much better at neatening the living room, etc.

Sorry to go all mundane on you. But it's life. And I love my husband. Not only because he brings me on adventures on the other side of the world, and because he "gets" me...but because we are a team even through the mundane parts of life. And I would hope that we would continue to be a team as life gets even more exciting (or even more dull).



Laurel said...

this makes me smile.

Laura said...


Lauryn said...

So happy to hear that you guys enjoy doing the "little things" together. :)

Excuses I'm looking forward to:
1. Buying school supplies every August
2. Taking portraits and having them made into Christmas cards

Guy Magno said...

Best post yet.

Laura said...

Ah so nice to see all my name derivatives in one place ;)

Lauryn, I too will probably look forward to school supplies and Christmas cards!


Thanks Guy

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